My Misunderstood Love
by imtheRATZ
Summary: I was but a mere child when it all began. The fluttering in my stomach, the tingling when he touched my hand. And soon, I begun to realise what my love really meant. /One-shot, OneSided!Germancest, VERY LATE VALENTINE'S FIC!


He never understood my love.

I was but a mere child when it all began. At first I thought the fluttering in my stomach was because I was happy to have a new brother, that the warmth in my heart was now knowing I'll have a protector.

But as his smooth pale hand held onto mine, I could feel something tingling in my nerves. His smile but my stomach twist and turn. I would always want those rubies of his to only focus on me.

I would grit my teeth and stomp away as he flirted with the other girls. My brother did not understand he belonged to only me. No matter where we were, brother was only mine.

I even faked a childish crush on a little girl to have my brother envy me, to come and desire for me! Soon I realised what all these feelings was.

My heart deceived me. Never was a brother allowed to love his flesh and blood, it was a sin. But still my mind would wander and my desires hidden.

We were brother brought together by fate. She had plans for me to become powerful, just like my brother. We shared a bond none could break, we shared a love none could understand, not even he. I hid it no more. The maids knew of my sinful cries in the late hours of the moon. They knew of whom I dream and what my desires made me. Still they kept silent and never has my brother known.

I would mutter lies of nightmares, only to feel his touch and have him curl around me for comfort. I would lust that night but never would my hands wander. He said he loved me so many times, I did the same. Only he never understood what I wanted, what I desired.

When we raged in wars, covered in blood and swimming in gore, I would marvel in awe at the way he would swing his sword and grin as his enemy's blood covered his face. His eyes would shine, bloodlust clouding his mind. Still I had to hide behind bushes to hide my shameful acts.

I was but a mere child then.

I know something has happened. I have lost my memories. But still that love never left my heart. And even so when my brother was corrupted by my own leader, I still loved him even if it went against my own believes. Brother would still try to get himself killed, I would follow him.

Then he was taken away by another man, hidden from me behind a wall, I would cry out in pain and rage. I knew what has been done to my brother. Raped and beaten, sometimes I could hear his painful cries in the Winter nights as I punched the wall and gaurds only spat at me.

And so when the wall was brought down, I once again found my brother. I captured him into my arms and cried in joy. He said nothing and only gave a small smile.

Brother was never the same again. Still I loved him. Even if his pale skin is now bruised and tainted, and his ruby eyes now dying embers. It might just be his soul wandering around. I still love him.

And so I sinfully enjoyed the night we united our country. I had to bit my lip till blood dripped onto my brother's pale chest, for he might think wrongly of me if I was to moan out his name. His body was beautiful, and I was not gentle. He was already taken by another man, and so I took out all my anger on my brother. He did not weep nor moan, he just lay there and took it all. I wept afterwards for still he never understood my love.

And so... After many years of his nation being dissolved... Brother decided to leave me... He said he loved me... That he was proud of me... I said the same, I kissed him till his lips bled.

Only moments later did I realise he was not there. He was never my brother. We were never blood related.

We were simply nations being played with. Fate has decided for my heart to ache, she has decided for my desires to unfold.

And now I am being punished for my sin. Because even after all these years, after a night of desire and a kiss of death.

He still never understood my love.

...

**-I have no comments to this o.o Let us just say I was practising angst along with GermanCest and averylateValentinesDayoneshotwhichyouwillstilllovemefor!**

**-RATZ**


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